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7月30日 Being Self"Well, all I can do is be myself and create from my soul. But they take that and manipulate it." 7月15日 A Dream Last NightYesterday is July the 14th, the second day when MJ's London Concert "This is It" should have been hold. Still and maybe always being deeply devastated about ur passing. For days I READ everything ABOUT U, collect all ur materials/dvds/mtvs/cds,SEE UR MV and listen to ur music, tell ur never-has-been-and-never-will-be greatness to my relatives and close friends just like u were still there.....
Last night I dreamed that I got a very bad disease and was about dying when one of my beloved had been taken by the disease. How complicated I felt at that moment! What I cared included my daughter, who was sleeping sweetly by my side. Maybe I should give an insurance for her or some investment plan for her. Blieve or not, I thought about this in the dream. Those trivia things such as the unsurprising daily work, became nothing when ur feeling that I was leaving was so real at that moment... a little thrilling...
Then I woke and sit up, at midnight... thought about so much...
What should be done first? Once I am leaving? Write a book? Buy an insurrence? A last will( I even have nothing to tell in a lastwill)?...
Oh, God! I dont know. should make time more usefull eversince. In SHIBINGTUJI, Xu Sanduo said, man should not be too easy. BEING Too easy MAY CAUSE SOMETHING WRONG.
Anything wrong about me?
Today, in our workmeeting, I was told that my department has changed...
7月9日 MJ的散文诗喜欢MJ的人大概都知道，他是个书痴，喜欢读诗歌，自己也写过一本诗集《Dancing The Dream》。我这两天找来阅读，先读了中译本，诗歌全是MJ的感悟，揭示了MJ善良纯真、超凡脱俗的心灵境界。下面是他的一首“天真”，从中可以看出，伟大的人之所以伟大，之所以能有如此杰出的创造力，都是有其不同寻常的思想境界的。我们普通人置身于俗世中，每每为俗事牵绊，真正心灵的声音，都听不到了，也就因此丧失了孩童时具有的最好的创造力。
哈宝的疹子终于出来了四天的高烧，昨天终于如潮水一样突然退去。不过昨晚九点哈宝突然大哭起来，全身力地在哭，哽噎加嚎啕，怎么哄也哄不住。10分钟过去了，半小时过去了，哈宝始终在哭，我不明原因，手足无措，心想她可能是几天来没怎么吃，是不是缺钙骨头疼，我抱着她，动也不敢动，几乎也落泪。她奶奶说她是“哭僵”了。我不知道什么是哭僵，忆起自己年幼时也曾这么尽情地哭过，哭到力竭，哭到最后剩下无声的抽泣，忘了缘由。一个小时过去，她奶奶试图哄了一会无效，我从她奶奶手里接过，左手捂着她的肋骨，保持了一个姿势，突然她不哭了睡着了。抱了许久，放下她，浑不觉手臂已然酸疼。
今天，疹子终于出来了。我中午回家，给她拿了两根狗尾巴草，哈宝快乐地接了过来。我忆起昨天她的啼哭，恍然一悟，可能她闷了几天了，身体也不舒服，没有出去，能量没有发泄，小宝宝就通过长时间的哭闹，来发出能量。嘿嘿，这可不是我的理论。
这是哈宝第一次生病，来得突然，声势大。也是我们搬到新家的第一个插曲。 7月3日 如此怀念Michael Jackson6月26日看到新闻头条赫然写着MJ辞世的消息，心里不太相信。确认后跟踪他的消息，脑海里不断浮现他的声影，他真的去了吗？一种难以名状的难受，心痛，无以复加！
大学期间初次看见他的MV，震撼得不知所以。那时忙碌而无味的学习间隙，最幸福的就是中午捧着饭碗，看学校电视台点播的MJ的MTV，从Thriller到Beat IT， remember the time。他华丽的舞步，动人的呓语，炫丽的服装，多变的面孔，还有那纯真的眼睛，这一切，将无味的青春点燃，想象力被点爆，心灵被颤栗，世上还有这样的人！怀璧其中，前无来者，后无古人。
终于知道什么叫缅怀，沉湎他的世界，他的为人，他的才华。永远缅怀！
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